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From Trauma to Fearless:

An Interview with Native American Warrior, Terri Kozlowski

 

This is an unedited transcript:

 

Welcome. I’m here with Terri Kozlowski.[a] And she is definitely someone who has gone from living in fear to living fearless. So I’m really excited to dive in and learn more about her journey and the way that she’s helping others to do that as well. So I’ll just say a little bit more about Terry and then let her introduce herself. She is a proud Native American warrior of the tangut tribe Raven clan, she is rediscovering her true path in life with joy and love. She learned to transcend the fear that the egoic mind keeps bringing to the forefront of our lives. Sure we know about that. And Jerry is now a successful soul and life coach whose mission is to inspire others to master their fear. Welcome, Terry.

Thank you very much for having me below. I appreciate your time.

Absolutely. So I yeah, I just really was so intrigued. And Terry and I were just meeting today, right now, along with you. So um, I but I was really intrigued by some of the things you are putting out there around fear and fearlessness and walking working through that. And before any of that I know, you identify yourself as a warrior. And I wonder if you could just say more about what that means to you.

What that means to me is I have fought my way out of the egoic fear, which childhood trauma caused. And childhood trauma utterly changes the person from the inside out in ways that unless you’ve had trauma, you may not be able to understand. So I believe that we are all born fearless and loving and compassionate. We are come to Earth school with a purpose, and that we know what we’re supposed to do when we get here. And then we go through the what I call the domestication process. And that is when our loving parents or unloving parents or our family unit that we are living with, and trying to make us into something that we may not be so or they are neglectful, which is what happened with my mother, and you, all you are supposed to be get squashed. Because you feel unworthy. And therefore you start questioning everything about yourself. And so being a warrior means that I have fought through that process. I’m on the other side of that. And I am now going forth and helping other people battle their own in our selves and come out on the other side so they too can help others. Hmm.

Wow.

Yeah, that’s powerful. And so, so many questions about that journey.

For you.

Um,

yeah, so what, um, what is your sense of like you said, we come into the world, really knowing what we’re doing here. Why do you? Why do you think you’re here?

Well, we all come in knowing what we’re supposed to do. And we’re all come in being our authentic selves. And our authentic selves get squashed. We decide that, you know, we want to be an artist when we’re three or four years old. And then when we’re in school, we get told to color in the lines and know the horse isn’t going to be purple. And the reality is, maybe the horse is purple. And that’s what I see. And maybe my color differences here is different than yours. The reality is when we squash that creativity, we are squashing authentic expressions of ourselves. I may have grown out of that, and not thought that all horses should be verbal. But the reality is, nobody has the right to tell a child, those types of things. It’s one thing to teach them, you don’t steal from others. You don’t lie, that those are different lessons. Those are life skills. But the reality is, when it comes to the creativity aspect of our lives, nobody can tell us that what we’re doing is wrong, or insufficient. Because the reality is whatever we’re creating, we’re meant to bring into the world.

Hmm,

yeah, I can imagine we can all probably remember the moments when in time as children, when we were in our flow and creativity, and then someone came and made it wrong. And I know lots of adults who say they aren’t creative. And I correct them and said, You may not think you’re creative, but you are that was just squashed in you and you just don’t believe in anymore. But we all are creative. Because the only time we can be in flow, the only time that we can truly be authentic, is when we’re creating from the inside out.

So true. So true. So how do you reclaim that? What are some things that you’ve done to reconnect?

So I was one of those people that were told as a teenager that I was not a good painter, and I shouldn’t become an artist, or, or do any of that. So I lay down the paintbrush for over 25 years. And then when my when I I had some aha moments in my late 40s. And when life changes, I did I moved, and I moved into a very artistic community. And I found a little place that did the SIP and paint. And I started going and I loved it. So I started painting and painting and painting. So I have paintings all over my house that I did, nobody else has to like it. It just it brings me joy to do it. And then I, my granddaughter started painting with me when she was three years old. She’s nine now. And that’s one of the things that we do together is that we paint and we create, and I don’t tell her what I said, What colors do you want, and how big of a canvas Do you want, and then she determines what she’s doing. Sometimes we talk about, you know, it’s going to be Halloween, or it’s going to be Christmas or it’s snowing, whatever, and then that gets her creativity flowing. But the idea is, the first thing I did is I remembered those things that brought me joy when I was a child. So for me it was walking in the woods, playing in the water coloring. So I bought myself an adult coloring book and color pencils. And every weekend I would spend time coloring and then it became something that I decided I really want to incorporate these little pieces into my life on a regular basis. So my bought a weekly planner, that was each week, you colored a page for so that you had at the end of the year, a colorful page that you created. Because the reality is your calendar is what you create and how you use your time. So I was specifically looking at ways to do that. So I took the painting classes. And now I schedule Okay, this is studio time, because I now my husband was loving and created a studio in our house for me, so I can paint in my house. So I have my own studio. So I schedule studio time. So that I am I can stay in that creative mode, when we shut that off. Or when we say we’re too busy, that shuts off a part of us that’s authentically who we are. And we need to be able to tap into that so that when we are creating our podcasts or we’re writing a book or whatever we’re playing with our kids, that playfulness comes out. And that creativity and that flow being one with the universe. All comes into play.

That’s beautiful. I heard a couple of really key elements from your story, which is that having other people in your life who want to be creative too, that can reflect back that part of you, whether it’s your community, your grandchildren, right so like Being around others who are wanting to explore their creativity as well was really helpful. And, and then that commitment that regular time carved out and actually built into your planner, I love that. So you’re actually like getting creative right inside your planner,

that’s part of self care. And self love is for us to make sure that we have that time, whether it’s alone time to be creative, alone time to read, whatever that alone time is where we rest and renew, or we create whatever that time is, however we use it, it’s carved out for just us. Nobody else benefits from it. But actually everybody in our in our core family does benefit. Because now we are more at peace or happier. That means we can be more giving and loving to those around us.

Totally, totally. And I, I caught a bit of you had a podcast about and we’ll make sure people can go to your podcast by the end of this. I’m about willpower. And what really stuck out for me within that was this idea that willpower is this like this force that is really self punishing. I think he might have used
For me, the use of the word willpower is an ego tool. So there you go, mine uses it to keep us either from trying something new, or to make us think that something is harder than it is. We make choices every day. And those choices affect our tomorrow, we decide every morning, are we going to have a good day or a bad day, we decide whether or not we’ll be able to stick to the new schedule, stick to the new meal plan, whatever it is that we are trying to accomplish, we make those decisions. Now the ego will say well, you couldn’t do it last time. What makes you think you can do it this time? And the answer to that question is because today I’m doing it for a different reason. I’m doing it because I need to get healthy. I’m doing it because I love myself enough to know that I need to be drinking more water. I love myself to know that I need to get more rest a binge watching Netflix until three in the morning is not good for me. So it’s we making those those decisions versus allowing the eight lazy ego because the ego is very lazy. The ego doesn’t want you to do anything. The ego keeps us small, the ego doesn’t, doesn’t want us to change. It doesn’t want to try new things because trying new things is risky. We’ve never done that before we could fail. Or we could succeed, then if we succeed, why do you know? So the ego is something that keeps us and holds us back. But our soul wants us to be free our soul wants us to explore. And if the soul, if you get quiet, you can hear the whispers of your soul. And the soul isn’t going to tell you not to try if you if you used to write and you still write poetry, not to sit down or write a poem, The soul is not going to tell you whether or not your husband or your significant other is going to like the poem. It doesn’t matter. The poem writing isn’t for others it is for you. And if somebody gives you recognition for it great. But the reality is you’re doing it for your soul. You’re doing it for yourself. You’re doing it for yourself, love and for your authentic being to come out.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

It’s so it’s so interesting, Terry, because I I know there’s a lot of discussion around the ego and navigating the ego and I have a little different perspective about it. I feel like it’s my so my belief is that all parts of ourselves are looking out for ourselves in some way.

Assa T goes job.

Yeah. So

it has a job to do. But it doesn’t mean it’s always right.

Correct.

So let me give you an example. I can give you a really good example for this. So my childhood trauma, I was sexually molested by three Hispanic men. So for me, growing up seeing Hispanic men caused me great terror. Then I had to work with them. I had to work with a lot of Hispanic men. And my ego was always good. But the reality is this, I’ve had more positive experiences with Hispanic men who are very loving and caring human beings that I have had negative experience. So to this day, if I see a stranger that’s Hispanic walking towards me, my ego immediately says, watch out. And I have to say, thank you for letting me now. It’s okay. I’ve had more positive experiences and negative experiences, I’ll be fine. You can override that ego response the Ego is meant to do that. But the other thing about the ego is the ego, telling you that’s to watch out and be careful shouldn’t be saying be careful about the fact that you haven’t tried that before you may fail. That’s, you know, that is something that we impose, those are the limit self imposing limitations, that’s not really a tool that the ego supposed to use. But in this day and age where we’re not worried about tigers, or bears, or not eating tomorrow, for many of us, we’re very blessed in this country, those things end up being where the ego has to find something else to be concerned about. So it gets concerned about whether or not you’re going to have hurt feelings, whether or not you’re going to, you know, be successful in that meeting you’re having today, which is really and truly not where the ego was meant to work in this world. It’s meant to keep us from physical harm. Mm hmm. And, and we allowed it to expand that we did that,

huh? Yeah. Yeah. So good. So I think we have a similar perspective.

Right? Is it is yeah, is meant to help us. But we have to be able to say it, yes, it will help me here. But really, and truly, me going into this meeting and not speaking up. Because I think somebody may, you know, disrespect me is not a valid reason for me not to speak up.

Mm hmm. Yeah. And I really, I heard a good well, another thought is, I always say, I’m so I’m so glad, like my monkey mind exists when there’s a bus coming. And I don’t have to stop and think about whether to get out of the way. I can just, you know, but most other times, it is. And I really heard this and what you’re sharing around pausing, right? Like the importance of not just taking that voice that perspective as truth, but really exam like pausing. And also I love how you think like, thank you. Because I really, I found that to be super pivotal. When I used to be like, well, I shouldn’t have that fear, I should just go on with it and be brave, and what’s wrong with me, you know, it’s like, almost dug in further, as opposed to really understanding like, okay, that part is really, it’s just, it’s outdated. And it’s tactics. And it’s looking out for me. So thank you very much, I

got this. Exactly. And part of the other aspect of that is, we a lot of times don’t realize that, when that we have these reactions to things, they’re automatic reactions. And lots of times, if we pause for a moment, the soul will whisper to us, it’s okay. But we tend to react, somebody pushes our buttons, and we react to something that happened 20 years ago, has nothing to do with the current situation. And certainly has nothing to do with the person who’s who pushed the button who didn’t even know there was a button to be pushed, yet we react. And so taking a pause, and then thoughtfully responding from a place of love. So reactions come from a place of fear. Responses come from a place of love. So I’m very distinct in how I determine Am I reacting or responding? And I want to always respond, one of my mantras I do every morning, is I am responding with love in all situations.[c]

Hmm. I love that distinction between reacting and responding. And it would be a full mantra.

Thank you. Yeah.

How? I wonder because I know just a very little about it, but I know that you have gone through some really severe trauma. And like you said, we all there’s some way in which like some some piece of our soul gets kind of crushed and as we’re being trained to be humans in the world, but for you pretty severe so I’m, I’m really, I’m curious about how it is that you What do you see as some key pieces that really helped you overcome that and reconnect with your, your soul, and your creativity?

Okay, so the second part of the childhood trauma is really my mother, not only physically but mentally emotionally abandoning me when I was 11. So she was the reason the three men raped me. She sold my innocence for drugs so she could have drugs. But then she physically abandoned my sister and I she disappeared for for three days. And when she showed up, she packed our suitcases, put them on the stoop of her efficiency apartment and told us to go home. Home was 3000 miles away in Pennsylvania. She we were in New Mexico at the time, so I had to figure out how to get us home. I’m 11 months older than my younger sister, and I’m currently 11 when this occurs, I make it We get to a place I make a phone call we get home. But I two things. One, I was very self aware. As a child, I got off the airplane to greet my dad and told him I needed therapy. And 11 year old in the early 80s doesn’t know what therapy is number one. And number two, the mean going, I knew enough that I needed help. I knew enough it was that what happened was significant. But I also didn’t have the language. So I get into therapy and or in the early 80s, talking about child sexual abuse was not something that was handled very well. And I stayed in therapy until I was 18. And when all was said and done, I never once talked about the rape. I talked that we talked about the abandonment. But we talked about all the other anx that teenagers have. So

the first time I heard that somebody else had been sexually molested as a child was when Oprah Winfrey came out on her show in the 80s and talked about it. And that was I immediately identified oh my gosh, I’m not the only one. And that’s one of those things that most people have childhood trauma has especially strong sexual, that they’re the only ones because they don’t speak about it, or they’re told not to speak about it. And I was told not to speak about it. So when all of that occurred, the abandonment became my thing. That’s that stuck to me. So although Yes, I was raped. It happened once. It didn’t ever happen again. So thanks. Thankfully, I was able to heal from that in a different way than the abandonment, the abandonment came down to if your mother can’t love you, or take care of you who will. So that transferred over to every aspect of my life, because I just couldn’t trust people, you can’t trust your mother, who can you trust. If your mother doesn’t love you, and not to take care of you who in the world is gonna love you. So obviously, I am unworthy. Obviously, I’m a bad person. Obviously, I’m shameful, and blame, you know, my mother blamed me for her alcoholism. So I got all this stuff thrown at me. And you don’t know how to deal with it when you’re 11 1213 1415. That’s not something that children are taught how to do. And they shouldn’t be. It’s not something that they shouldn’t be taught. So when I got out of the therapy, and I was in college, I was somebody who let people know that I had trauma. So that because my reactions to certain things were pretty strong. So if you came up and tapped me on the shoulder, I’d come around swinging, don’t touch me, you were not not supposed to touch me. So I let people know. So they didn’t get hurt. So they said, Just call me. I’ll turn around and we can talk. But don’t come up behind me. Don’t try to surprise me like that you won’t like it. So we went through that. So I was open about that. I had a gentleman tell me that I got something from playing the victim. And I got very angry and reacted poorly with him. And then I thought about it for a while. And it sat with I mean something about how he said it made me pause and think. And I realized I was getting something out of it. The thing I was getting at was everybody was leaving me alone. If I tell you, I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life. Most people react to me very differently. If they don’t know me, they’re gentle with me. They’re compassionate, they’re empathetic, they’re sympathetic. They’re all of those things to be nice, because they don’t want to trigger me. So I realized, yes, I was getting something. But there was a better way for me to communicate. If I wanted to be left alone, use my voice and tell people, I just want to be left alone. Instead of making all of them feel uncomfortable to because that’s what was happening. I was feeling uncomfortable. They were feeling uncomfortable. Instead of me just saying, you don’t need to be uncomfortable and just kind of leave me alone touch base with me once in a while we’ll be okay. So the main shift that took place from that conversation was I went from playing the victim being the victim living through the victimology. And I change that to I am now survivor. The second aspect of becoming a survivor is taking responsibility. And what I mean by that is, from that day forward, if I’m a survivor, I cannot blame the trauma. For my actions that I take today. I can still say some of my reactions were because of the trauma, but choices that I was making.[d] I was making, my mother wasn’t there telling me what to do. The three men that raped me weren’t there telling me anything. I was making those decisions. So I had to start taking responsibility for my life. And when I did that, another strange thing happened. I became empowered. Because now I am in control of how things are progressing and how I move forward in my life, they are no longer in control, they no longer have the power over me to cause me to stay stuck in the past. And that’s really why forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness is never about them. It’s never about condoning what they did. It’s never it’s never even about saying that I forgive you. Forgiveness is about releasing us from the attachment to the negativity of the past and saying I am more important than the perpetrator of my pain is.[e]

Hmm. Oh, absolutely, Terry, that, that is that is really powerful. And I don’t think this is something I’ve really shared publicly before. But I had a similar experience with a sexual assaults as a young woman and and I realized that so this person, I saw him a few other times in group settings and felt really triggered and it really affected my ability to be intimate with partners. And then I realized at some point, that hanging on to that was was killing me and not affecting him at all. Right. So, um, so I did, you know, I started to speak about it and for I wrote a forgiveness letter to him that I he never received, I didn’t ever give it to him. for him.

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I really I see it, at least in my case, I felt like it disrupted a pattern too. And so because I could really see, as I was letting go of that, that cord of attachment to that experience, that I didn’t want to have, but I had is that I could really see where he had been hurt, right? Or he just didn’t know. better, right. He hadn’t gotten the kind of guidance that he needed to, to not have done that in the first place, you know, and sort of like, Okay, so what, what am I bringing forth into my community into my family, like what’s next? Also, it was really empowering, right? It’s a good shoes that

correct? Correct? Yeah.

it is true about like, what, when it’s good for us, it’s good for everyone around us. Exactly.

self love self care.

Yeah, absolutely.

You can’t, if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else. And I think that was one of the biggest things that I had to learn to do. In my late teens, early 20s, was figure out how to love myself. Because I think once I figured that out, then loving my son, loving others became a lot easier because I understood what that meant. You can’t give something you don’t understand. So you have to understand love in a different way. And the only way to do that is to learn to love yourself.

Mm hmm. That, yeah, absolutely. Oh, and you have a you have a book, you offer coaching services. It’s interesting, you call yourself a soul coach.

Yeah, more about that. So for me, to become your authentic self to tap into that you have to get in touch with your soul. Your soul is who you authentically are. And so for me to say to you, for you to be who you are, you have to get quiet, you have to get quiet every day. And that quietness is when you listen to your soul with whispers. And yes, you have a job. And yes, you have to go out into court, you have to do all that. But the soul will help guide you through that, and where you’re supposed to be what it is you’re supposed to do, your soul can help guide you through that. And if we’re not paying attention to our soul, then we’re listening to our ego, who’s more about the money and status and all that when the soul is not concerned about any of that the soul will make sure you have what you need. But it’s more about those experiences. What are you experiencing? And what are you learning from it? How are you growing and expanding. And the way to do that is by making those personal connections with others, our brain is wired for that connection. So if we don’t have it, it actually causes us harm. And there’s all kinds of studies concerning that. And when it comes right down to it, when we make authentic connections, it brightens us up, it makes us happy, joy and inspiration all come from within those are so full qualities. Peace is a soulful quality. So anything you think you’re lacking, all comes from the soul. So your joy comes from your soul, your peace, your happiness, your love, all our social qualities. And for you to then feel that and be that you have to get in touch.
Hmm, yeah, so

I love Yeah, I think we do some parallel work, I call it intuition. But similarly, yeah, that inner guide that is most reliable. And it is an interesting thing to where we do need to be quiet within ourselves to hear it. And what also helps us here it is making those positive connections with other spirits. Other souls, I think,

and what I’m finding out is that a lot of people who have reached out in ways they hadn’t before are actually finding that they are walking away from COVID. Much more whole than they did going into.

Yeah, I’ve Yeah, I’ve experienced that. I’ve heard a lot of people, that the sort of paradox of feeling even more connected, and a time when we’re asked to, to, quote unquote, socially distance, right. Yeah, that’s amazing. I was just this morning, I was just reading about one of those many studies you referring to, which was they asked New Yorkers, if they preferred to ride the subway in silence, or if they liked it when someone else talked to them on the subway and 84% of them said, Oh, definitely silence. I don’t want to be bothered on my commute to work. And then and then they put it to the test. So they had three different cars of people, they tested out someone they instructed them, chitchat with your neighbors talk as much of the ride as you can. The second car, no talking at all, total silence, and then the final car, no instruction at all, just like Do whatever you feel. And and then they evaluated later, how happy they felt after taking their commute. And across the board. It was significant. How much happier the people who were chatting with even just you know about the weather or anything

complete strangers, because we are that wire to make those connections. And although we need our quiet time, we also need that social time, we need to have that interaction. it you know, it causes dopamine levels to rise in the body. You know, petting a dog petting your pet does the same thing. So obviously, we’re supposed to have these connections. Absolutely.

Yeah. So many so many dog adoptions this year to for that same reason. Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I so appreciate your time and you sharing your wisdom, Terry, it’s been great to connect with you. And I wonder if there’s just anything else you want to share? Before we wrap up?

I do. The last thing I want to share is this. You and everyone who’s listening are all worthy exactly the way they are. You don’t have to try to prove yourself. You don’t have to try to allow the egoic mind to say you need to prove yourself right you need to fight you need to compete. You are perfect and whole just as you are, accept and love yourself, except I love those around you exactly the way they are. And we will find a peaceful, more loving world tomorrow.

Fellas breathe that in. All right, and where can people find more about you, Terry?

They can find me at Terry kozlowski.com. My podcast is soul solutions. And that’s at soul solutions, podcast calm or anywhere that they listen to podcasts. And I spend about 15 minutes each week, new episodes come out on Tuesday, where I talk to you about ways to overcome the egoic mind ways to make better connections with your friends. So that when you want when you’re done with the podcast, there’s actionable things that you can do today to better your life. And then of course, the book is Raven transcending fear, which you can get at Raven, transcending fear, calm or on Amazon. And it’s my life story. It’s a memoir that tells you what happened to me, and then how I overcome the fear and how I transcend the fear. So at the end of the book, again, you come away with a complete journey of what it’s like to go through trauma, and then how to come out of it.

Unknown Speaker 38:52
Thank you. And we’ll provide all those links on a path of her own comm if you’re not already there. Thanks again, Terry.

Thank you for having me blue. I appreciated our time together.[f]

Right.

So if you’re up for it, I asked. Well, I have you. It’s I think it’s fun to do a little bonus episode, like 1015 minutes tops, just like a little quick thing. So I’m just curious if there’s anything else that you just struck you that Oh, I wish we could have said a little bit more about this or

talk about? Yeah, let’s talk about reframing. Okay, one of the things about the egoic mind is that we tell ourselves the same story, and it’s about how to change that story so that it better serves us.

I love it. Okay.

All right, Kevin. We’re going to start again. All right. Welcome, everyone. I am back again here with Terry Kozlowski and we Had a longer conversation previously. So if you haven’t checked that out, you might want to check that out. And there is some there’s a really juicy topic that we didn’t get to yet. So we thought we’d elaborate a little bit further here. And this is the concept of reframing. So what what is reframing? Terry?

So the egoic mind tells repeat stories to ourselves. So one of the stories that my ego of mine kept repeating back to me was that I was unlovable over and over and over again, because of the fact that my mother caused a lot of anger and trauma in my childhood, that I was unlovable. And her voice would play in my head over and over and over again, of saying very nasty things to me. But this one aspect of it, I realized, very late in life, that I was the one hitting the play button on those tapes. So at some point, I could turn that off, and if I couldn’t turn of us, let’s rerecord something. So that’s what reframing is reframing is being able to take whatever it is that limiting belief that you have, I’m unlovable into something that is more conducive to your soul to help you move past that limiting belief. So something like I’m unlovable turns into something, I am okay. Today, people like me, something simple, because you can’t go from I’m lovable to everybody on the planet adores me, you can’t jump from that you’re, you know, you will fight that. So something a little, my dog loves me. You know, my family loves me, because obviously, we’ve moved on in some way. And we have family that, you know, our loving friends in our lives that do actually care about us. So we can use them as he is, obviously, I’m not completely on level because I have these people that care about me. So those little things that you use along the way to help you reframe the story you keep telling yourself. And that’s the biggest thing with the ego is that we keep telling ourselves these lies, we say things like, you know, I’ve never been able to lose weight. Well, you know, today, I’m not worried about my weight, I’m just going to eat healthy. And just eat healthy for that day, one day at a time, one step at a time, we want these gigantic goals. When t[g]he reality is however, we got our body got at the age of 50, it took a long time to get there, it’s going to take a little while to get you’re not going to get down, you know, you’re not going to lose 30 pounds in six months, you know, if it took you 20 years to get there. So you need to look at and become realistic about those little tiny steps. And guess what 40% of everything we do every day is habitual. That means 40% of what we do can be changed something a little something, just something that, yeah, brushing our teeth every day. Okay, we all do it. So let’s you know those things that we automatically we don’t even think about he just walked into the bathroom and you’re half asleep. And you know, you brush your teeth. So why is it that since we go through these motions, be conscious of the motions you go through, you can change those little habits, you can intake more water and less soda in your life, less caffeine in your life, you can do those things, you can change how you talk to yourself. And when you change how you talk to yourself, the amount of progression that you make is phenomenal. Because you determine your own mindset.

Oh, it’s so true. Yeah, I see. And I I’ve done this to myself, right? Where you just stop before you even get started, like just stopping yourself in your mind before you even have a chance to fail. Exactly. Or to succeed, right? Like, we don’t know, what would have happened. And I wonder, I know, in my coaching practice, and something that’s worked really well for me is like, just beginning sometimes it can feel overwhelming, like how do I even begin this? You know, I’m in such a habit. It’s a well worn path in my brain, like, how I can’t just like switch it up, you know, overnight, and I love the parallel to sort of like our health status, right? Like it’s incremental. And so one of the first things I I offer and that’s worked for me is, is simply observing, without judgment without, like pulling back as much judgment as I can. Right. But catching it like catching that voice observing voice for that’s

awareness. Yeah, awareness, actually is the hardest part of any change is becoming aware that there is something that we do something that we allow to occur, something that we think on a regular, the minute that we have awareness, and we recognize Oh, that’s what that is. Yeah, we can change it. But until we have awareness We’re going to stay in a habitual patterns. So awareness is the first step to all transformation. It’s the first step to changing your mindset is the first step to overcoming fear. It’s the first step in everything is becoming aware of it. And for a lot of people, they walk around completely unaware. And it’s very sad. But interestingly enough, it’s also during this time that I’ve seen more awakened people than I have had. So that’s Yeah, that’s helpful.

Yeah, I think we can some of those patterns we can’t do.

Right. We we’ve been disrupted in our usual

routine of things. Yeah.

 

Why? Why do you think it is that people don’t want to be present

to things, they’re, it’s just, it’s a fearful state. So when you’re present, what people don’t realize is present is the only time that you can be at peace. It’s the only time you are happy. It’s the only time you can actually be. So if you are living in the past, that’s depression. If you are living in the future, that’s anxiety. So being in the present moment is where all those wonderful things that we say we want to be happy and joyful and at peace, that only happens in the present moment. So if people are too focused on any of the other areas, they’re not paying attention, and they’re thinking about the future or they’re thinking about the past, and they stay stuck in those areas, instead of getting present. Getting quiet and finding out what it is their next step should be.

Yeah, yeah. So interesting. It’s, I think, too, it’s like a selective, remembering or selective, looking at the future. And so I think, you know, when we’re talking about reframing, why not select the things from the past that are helpful in the present or select possibilities from the future, you know, that that contribute to a feeling of peace?

Correct? Even if I had some negative things happen this morning. And I paused and thought, Okay, what am I supposed to learn from this? And I walked away with the lesson. And when somebody came up and said, Well, well, that’s bad. And I’m like, No,

I,

we learned something. So we’re going to let it go. And we’re going to move forward. And when you do that, and you don’t stay stuck. This was really bad. Oh, my gosh, what are we going to do? How are we going to change? And start worrying about how are we going to take care of this, none of that is beneficial. None of that helps the current situation. And all it does is bring everybody around you their energy down, the vibrational frequency goes down. And nobody then is looking for a solution. Because when you are spiraling downward, you’re not looking up and out. You’re looking down and and figuring out where how, how far to the bottom you you’re going to end up. So when you pause and reframe and shift that you can start looking for different solutions, you can start seeing Okay, this is the lesson I learned won’t do that again. What do I need to do now? How do we move forward? How do we find the solution to this issue?

Yeah, and like anything that that takes practice, right, like you said, five years ago, that would be more difficult than today, where it’s like, it’s your routine. That’s how you approach life.

So it became a habit. Yeah. And so I had a previous habit where I would spiral. Now I don’t allow that to occur. And I’ve changed that and I’m looking up and out. How do we get past this? How do we move forward? What’s the next step forward?

Beautiful, beautiful, and I know you’re helping lots of people do that, too. So can you tell us how we can find you? on the internet? You can

find me at Terry Kozlowski calm. And from there, you can find me on all the social media. My book is there and my podcast is there. Raven, transcending fear, calm, soul solutions, podcast calm, and I’m more than happy to reach out to anybody who contacts me.

Beautiful. Thank you, Taryn.

We’ll have all those links on a path of her own calm as well. Thank you, Terry, for just, I love how you just share your wisdom so openly. And I know there’s a ton of resources and recordings on your website. I hope people will check that out. Yeah, and have a beautiful, whatever comes next in the present moment for you.

Thank you blow Same to you.

Thanks. Thank

you. Thank you for having me.

All right.

Beautiful. Yeah. Thanks, Jerry. That’s

You’re welcome.

That’s what I got. I will. I’ll be in touch with you about when this gets released. And I like to do a little thing on Instagram or Facebook. If you’re up for that, where we could just like, remember this thing. And that was fun. And make sure you check this out.

Absolutely. So

I’ll reach out when that happens. I’m not sure. I don’t I wish I had a better timeline for you. But I will. I’ll give you at least a week’s notice before I guess gonna be launched. Okay.

Are you looking at April you’re looking at may it’ll probably be May or June. That’s fine. Yeah. Okay.

All right. And if you have any quote, you know where to find me.

I do know where to find you. Like,

Hey, what happened?

Okay.

All right. All right.

Thanks so much, Terry.

Thank you. You have a good evening. You too. Bye. Bye.