Big Career Leaps
with Lesa Frye
This is an unedited transcript:
do your quote, I’m gonna say your quote and then introduce you and we’ll dive in. Okay? Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. We are all meant to shine as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. Marianne Williams said that. Oh, I’m delighted to welcome life coach Lisa Frye here today. And let me just say a little bit about her. And then we’re gonna dive in and learn so much more about how she’s creating her own path in life. So Lisa has most valued achievement I love this is her family. She’s married to her high school sweetheart, Dion. And they have two grown daughters Deanna and Jasmine, and adorable granddaughter Skylar, she and her husband reside in Southern Maryland. And her mantra for life is do what you love, love what you do, and be authentically you. Whoo, welcome, Lisa.
Thank you. Thank
you so much blue for having me. Such an honor.
Beautiful. Yeah. So,
um, I think the thing that I, you know, we we met through coaching school that we both attended. And I think one thing that really just struck me about you is, you have just this like, grounded wisdom about you and and at the same time, like really willing to go out and take a risk.
it’s taking? Yep. Yeah, I’m
just really curious about, like, if you could give us a little highlight reel, like, what are some of those big life risks that you’ve taken? And what’s happened?
So I think, okay, man, it’s like, how far back do we want to go.
But I guess I’m gonna, I’m gonna start with the transition from corporate America to entrepreneurship. And that was 29 years ago. So I was working in corporate America at the time, my kids were two and six. And I just got to the point where I had reached the ceiling in the job, there was no place else to go unless I wanted to become an insurance salesperson, which I didn’t want to do, or go into management. But there was no management position open, I had to wait for someone to retire. And I really wanted to be there for my kids, like my my oldest was getting ready to start school. And so I started thinking, Okay, Lisa, what’s something you can do, where you can control your income, you can control your schedule, and it’s something that you love to do. And real estate was what came to mind. And although I really did just want to say, heck with it, I’m out of here. My husband probably wouldn’t have really gone for that. So what I did, what I did was I started building that business, on a part time dual career basis. And after a year and a half, maybe two years. I said, Okay, I’m gonna make the jump, I’m gonna leave the corporate job, that steady paycheck every two weeks. And I’m, I’m out here to do it on my own. So that was my first really big, that’s probably not my first but that’s a really big risk that I took. And then other than that, it was now I’ve been selling real estate for 29 years and three years ago, when I decided, you know, there’s something that’s calling me or something more than I’m supposed to do. So then I started to transition into to coaching. So and a lot of people will look and say you’ve got this really successful real estate career and you’re really good at it. Why? Why are you doing this? And sometimes I asked myself that question too. But it’s you know, when when you’re called to do something you follow I call them God whispers you follow the god whisper. So
yeah, Yeah, how
can I? I guess that’s a that’s a part of it? Or maybe it’s it, but how? Yeah, how do you know when it’s time to make a big change like that in your work?
I spent a lot of time and I’m a spiritual person. So I spent a lot of time praying for clarity. Really, and, and I’m the type of person that I’ll I tell God, you can’t give me hints. You know, you can’t, you can’t really whisper, like, you need to, like, hit me in my forehead with it. I need the message loud and clear. Because otherwise, I question I doubt him, like, Is that really you? Or Is that me? You know, coming up with all of it. So it really was a lot of just praying for clarity. And even there, just, you know, sometimes I will push it aside. But it kept coming back. So when that happens, I know. I know that. It’s time.
I can. I can definitely. I’m sure everyone listening has had those moments, right? Where you like, Yeah, get a little message you like, get a little louder.
know, in this particular case, where they’re coaching, it was, yeah, I was praying for clarity. And literally, in the middle of the night. The message I got was become a health coach. And at the time, I didn’t even know that such a thing existed. And so I literally got up it was I still remember this and I journaled it. I wrote the story out because it was just that I don’t I don’t want to call it bizarre, but it was like, really loud. And so I got up, and I went to the computer, and I googled it. And I found what it was I did the research on how you get involved with coaching. And I signed up the next morning to take the class for my certification.
That’s how I got started. Yeah. Yeah,
that’s what he’s like. Okay, you
didn’t you didn’t whisper really, it was like loud and clear. So
very specific instructions.
This is like construction. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And so it’s since you know, morphed from there from the health coaching into the life coaching. But,
what do you what do you think allows you to really trust that sort of guidance? Cuz I know, like, you’re telling the story, right. And I, I think every we’ve all had experiences like that if we’re listening. But but it does. It does sound really odd. You know, it’s like, Well, okay, logically, right, in some way, like, the leap from corporate to real estate made some logical sense, right? It’s like, right, okay, you reached a ceiling. Now, you’re looking around, and you’re going what else is important to me? My family? And you know, sort of like, kind of makes sense, right? To go from logical sense. You got like, yeah, logical sense. But you’ve got this real estate business that’s successful, has been humming along for many years, you know, and then to go into, like, something that a field you literally had never heard of.
Right. Right. Right. You know, I heard of coaching, but I had never, I guess, because I actually have, you know, I’ve had a coach. I’ve had business coaches for the whole pretty much the whole time I was in real estate. It was just the health coach part of it. And even, you know, I’d heard a little bit about life coaching, but but not a lot. So. Yeah, it was, yeah.
What would you say allows you to really be guided by that? God’s voice by the inner voice.
The fact that it was that
that, you know, the
fact the way that it happened, it was really like a kind of a first for me, or a first time that I heard it, because I’m sure it’s not the first time it’s happened. And then the other part of it blew is I really was kind of feeling bored and stuck. In my real estate career, like there’s I just felt like, okay, Been there, done that, what’s next kind of thing? And, and if that had been going on for a good while, like, I would say, a good five or six years that have been going on. And so that’s what I meant by you know, you keep pushing it off. Like I didn’t even I don’t even entertain the thought, like to even take the time to stop and think well, what else could I do?
because of all of that background and then hearing it’s, you know, said to me loud and clear.
Yeah, yeah. So you’re really in a plate, you’re like really ready to hear it. At that point.
Yeah. Yeah. And even even then, you know, it’s still scary. Yeah. And you know, this just from our, you know, I still was kind of like, I don’t know what, okay, I’ll be, I’ll be a coach for real estate agents, then since you know, I know that. That’s my comfort zone. So,
yeah. Yeah. What did your family think when you told them about this?
My husband is like, we’ve got a very productive real estate career, man, if he still says to me, you’re a real estate agent.
Yes, for my past clients in my sphere right now until my daughter gets her license, which she is working on. Then Yes, I’m still doing that. I said, but primarily, I am a coach. So and my husband’s always been supportive. You know, he’s in his, you know, his own way. In reality, yes, he’s being supportive, because I have been able to pursue whatever avenues that that I choose to. My girls are like, Oh, your mom goes again. You know, she’s, they know that I’m an entrepreneur at heart. So, but they’re probably you know, at this point, they’re like, Mom, you’re at retirement age, why are you still still trying to do things? And it’s like, you’re never too old. To to follow your heart. And I can’t see myself retiring anytime soon.
Never too old to follow your heart. Absolutely. And I just want to note, like, I love that kind of full circle moment you just mentioned in passing, which is that you came into real estate, right to spend more time with the very daughter who is now gonna step into that role in your place, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Which is pretty cool. It’s like, finally they’re listening.
They do listen, do they?
know eventually, it might take them a while might take them 30 plus years, but that’s okay. So yeah, because she went through, this is the oldest one she and the funny thing is, both of them said to me, because I mentioned it to them, like even when they were in college, to, you know, one of you all want to like get your real estate license and kind of step in and help out mom in the business. And they both were like, No, absolutely not.
So you raised them to pick their own path.
Yes, very independent, almost to a fault. Yes, definitely. And the oldest one had even taken the real estate Class A few years ago, and never set for the exam. But I think now that she’s married, and has her own child, and she’s seeing, you know, that she kind of wants to spend be able to spend more time especially with the pandemic, and now she’s actually working from home. And she’s able to have Skyler there with her. You know, she’s seeing that and she’s, she’s liking that. So, real estate is is a path for her to be able to do the same thing. Yeah, yes. It doesn’t even have to be, which I’ve told both of it doesn’t even have to be real estate. It’s like, start your own, you know, whatever your entrepreneurial journey is. Doesn’t have to be the same thing mom did. But you know, create your own future don’t depend on that stable, quote unquote, stable job.
Mm hmm. Yeah, what and what do you like about that path, that entrepreneurial path over the, quote unquote, stable path?
The the freedom and the flexibility? Yeah, basically. And just, it was a great feeling. It is a great feeling to be able to be there for my family whenever they need me without having to say, I need to be off this day. And, oh, I want to take vacation during this spot. Oh, I can’t do it. Because so and so’s already taking vacation. You don’t have to worry about any of that. So it’s the freedom and the flexibility. It’s being able to create and build my business, the way that I choose to build it with my values. And beliefs. Yeah, absolutely.
I hear that. Yeah.
Choosing who I work with, you know,
yes. Yes. Yeah. That’s,
that’s the beauty of Yesterday?
Yeah, yeah, I definitely I am right there with you I, I value the, the ability to just like whenever things come up, to be able to move things around myself and to decide the next direction of the business and where I’m spending my time and energy. I do. I do find, though that I wonder sometimes if I might work less, if I work for somebody else, though, sometimes, you know, definitely,
definitely. And that’s the thing is like, you know, we, most of us think that create our own businesses, we’re thinking, Oh, it’s gonna give me, you know, the freedom, I won’t have to work as much. And we all work probably more for ourselves than we did when we were in the job. I know, I do. I do, because I find myself. But that’s the thing that when you’ve actually find your passion and your purpose, because it doesn’t feel like work. You know, it’s just because my husband says this to me, too. Because, you know, of course, I’m working from home. And he’s like, you just stay back there in that hole, what he calls my office, my whole stay back in that hole all day long. And I do I physically have to tell myself, okay, Lisa, it’s time to stop, go, go do something else. But I get so engrossed in my work, because I just, I do I love it that much. And especially, you know, when I still feel like I’m kind of in the startup phase, because it’s the first couple years. So there’s just, like, there’s so much that I want to do. And there’s so many ideas. And so yeah, kind of get lost in it.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
I definitely want to hear more about your coaching practice itself. And then kind of like a day in the life like, what is that? As from your perspective? Like, how is it to run that business? So first of all, tell us about your, your coaching, okay, what
is that, oh,
it can look like a lot of things. So I am a
life and career coach. So I, I work with female executives who are feeling bored and stuck in their jobs. And I help them uncover their true passion and turn it into their careers. And so that could be that they, you know, transition from one job to another job. Or it could be they transition from a job to starting their own business. So that’s, that’s predominantly what I do. I also find that some of the women that I’m working with are looking to retire within the next two to three years. And they know they don’t want to just be retired, you know, they want to do something else. And so it’s helping them discover what’s that next chapter of life Look, look like for them? What do they want to do? What do they want to create? In the next chapter? And right now, I’m working on a one on one with, with women to do that.
Yeah, that sounds like you know, that journey yourself?
I definitely do. Yep. I’ve
done that twice now. And the second time was in what I call, you know, the midlife arena, you know, you’re in that, that the 40s might be kind of young, but not necessarily the 40s. To the like, 65. age group? Yeah, yeah.
Well, it’s interesting. I like that year. And I don’t know, I feel like I started out as a health coach. And you know, that’s where your training started to. So it’s interesting, like, I noticed how helpful that is to have that background. Because the body knows so much about what’s right for our lives. Exactly. Thanks. I don’t know if you have, if you have thoughts or examples of that. I’d love to hear it so
It’s funny, I remember getting my health coaching certification and we did a lot First of all, the breathing exercises, definitely with with helping to reduce the stress within our bodies and just a calmer state. And something that I specifically remember though, is it was a wound ology chart. And it told you Wherever you’re like having tension or stress in your body, it means a certain thing. Now, I can’t remember exactly now what some of them were. But I know, if you had a pain in a particular place it was, you know, what burden are you carrying that you need to lay down? Then there was one was like, well, who’s who’s? who’s working your nerves or something like that. So that just I remember that chart. But yeah, the body, the body tells you. Exactly. You know, what you need to change? And, of course, you know, it’s a lot of mindset work our thoughts, create our feelings, our feelings, we take certain actions and our actions create our results. And that’s, you know, that’s a lot of the work that I’m doing with with clients as well. It’s a lot of thought work. Mm hmm. So you asked, you asked about a day in the life did
I want to I want to just pause and give credit to Louise Hay. If anybody wants to look into wound ology more, she’s sort of the mother of that. Yeah, yeah. concepts.
Can I’m not the only one. Right, right. I mean, it’s as old as humans, I think is this connection, like our body in our lives? But yeah, that specific sort of chart comes from her.
Okay, yeah. Specifically where it came from? I just remember.
Yeah, I know, I often forget the source of things. And I’ve made this commitment this year. I’m like, wherever I can give credit, credit a source of things. I’m gonna do that. Yeah, so anyway, yeah, definitely. What’s a day in the life of life coach,
so a day in the life? So I start out when I wake up in the morning, I have a morning ritual. And I don’t know if you’ve heard of the savers routine. And now, I can’t think of his name either.
I can’t either. Like the Miracle Morning, is the Miracle Morning.
Wait a minute. Oh, Ron, let me think I got the book right here. If I can reach it. Yes. How? How Elrod. So I practiced the Miracle Morning with which is the savers routine. So I start out with with silence, just, I do five minutes of just deep breathing with with silence. And then I go into my affirmations. And I just pause and see. So savers is like an acronym for it is an acronym, so as to silence as a silence as for affirmation. So affirmations is next. The third is the visualization. And that is just taking time to sit still and visualize what is my ideal day, you know, the perfect day for today? What does that look like, and sometimes my visualization is, who’s my ideal client that I can help today, it’s, it’s bringing that person into, to light. So that’s the V. The E is exercise, which sometimes my exercise doesn’t happen right then, but I may very well take, I’ve got a stretching app on my phone, which is perfect, it’s like seven minutes. So that would be my, my E for exercise, then the R is reading. So my reading may be physically reading, or it may be listening to a podcast. And then the SS scribing, which is journaling. And so I do have a specific routine for my journaling. And I mentioned, you know, I work with my clients on thought work, we also do my own daily thought work, which is just sometimes it’s just a thought download, you know, it’s, you know, what am I thinking today, you know, what’s the thought and, and just getting it all out on paper. So that’s, um, that’s probably like my first 3030 minutes to an hour and then I, you know, get ready for for my day. I will then usually, I’m on social media, with, you know, my post. So I’m on Facebook, I’m on LinkedIn, I have a specific strategy that I’m utilizing for for LinkedIn. And then what else am I doing? I have coaching calls. So then I get into my coaching. I also like to meet people. So I say, as a life coach, I meet people, I tell them what I do, and then I make offers to help them so that That’s what my day entails. So part of meeting people is actually now virtually just doing coffee chats, and kind of networking with with other people. I am, I am a self proclaimed learning junkie. So there’s always something that I’m, you know, a skill that I’m honing or or something that I’m learning. So that’s part of my day, as well.
What are you learning right now?
So right now I’m learning to use this new CRM, this software contact management system. So that’s part of it. And then there’s, what is it? It’s, it’s called making money as a life coach. It’s selling just that the selling process and all the different parts of that. So those are a couple of things that I’m doing right now. It was, it was kind of nice. Yeah, I just finished up the mastery certification in December. And it was like a whole year process. So it was kind of nice to have a bit of a break from that. But yeah, I still do snippets of things.
I can’t stop. No, no. So um, and that, I feel like I’m leaving something out. And I probably am. But yeah, I
think that about,
Yeah, it’s an interesting thing. I think as a coach, like, when people have asked me like, oh, what, what does that entail? Like, what are you doing? And, and I always, I think I struggled to to describe it to them, like, Well, I have a lot of conversations, and I meditate and like, I eat a really good lunch.
Like, what is that? Work?
it, isn’t it? And I love it. Yeah. Yeah.
And it’s, you know, at the end of day, end of the day, it’s about who can we help, you know, whose life we can we impact? Mm hmm. And that’s what the days entail. And whether it’s, you know, making ourselves more visible and letting people know that we are available to help them, you know, through our social media post or whatever, and getting to meet people in networking and seeing, you know, we might not be able to help that particular person we’re speaking to, but they may know someone that Yeah, we can help. So that’s Yeah, yeah, that’s
definitely how I see it. It’s like, gosh, you know, who, who, who’s like circuit of support? Can I be a part of, you know, and then it’s a matter of like, okay, maybe I can help them directly? Or maybe they I’m in their lives, so they can introduce their best friend to me? Or maybe I’m in their life, because I know of another practitioner, that would be a good fit for them. Like, right, it’s all just I love like, connecting people that they need.
Exactly. Yeah, it’s fun.
So I’m wondering, just like, if someone’s listening, and they’re like, yeah, I’m feeling really stagnant in my job, or I’m it like, Lisa has described me when she was talking
um, do you have any? And definitely, you know, we’ll we’ll be putting your information if they want to contact you directly. But do you have something to offer that like, when you’re in that state, some tip or something for their minds? Maybe it’s a funny asset. So part of
what I do too, is I do these videos every couple of weeks, and I’m always like, okay, what’s the next topic? And my topic that I’m currently writing the content for now is, what do I do if I feel stuck? Mm hmm. And so, I was just journaling about that yesterday. And I was like, Okay, what do I personally do when I’m feeling stuck? And so the first thing that I do is I pull out paper and pen. Mm hmm. Because, you know, when things are in our head, they seem much more overwhelming and daunting. And when we get it down on paper, then we can, we can organize it and we can process it better. So the first thing I’m going to do is recommend that you pull out pen and paper. Mm hmm. And just get clear on exactly where you feeling stuck. So okay. You said you’re feeling stuck in your job, you’re feeling bored, well, what? What aspect of it has you stuck? You know, where? What is it about the job that is boring. So, you know, just ask yourself those questions, and then look at what are the thoughts that you’re having around that. So we’ve already come to the thought that my job is boring. Okay, what are all the thoughts? Just get them all out on paper? Yes. about that. And then look at, okay, I wrote, I’m stuck. Or maybe I wrote, I hate my job. When you have those two thoughts, what are all the feelings that are associated with that? You know, what we’ve established that you’ve got the feeling of stuck? What are the other feelings and feelings, emotions, one in the same? You know, get it all out. And then the next thing I would do is, okay, I know what I’m thinking, I know what I’m feeling. What do I want? You know, what do I want instead? So take some time to really reflect on that and and write it out. And then once you have that, it’s what are okay, so this is what I want. What are one or two actions I can take today? Before I leave this place? To move me forward to move me closer
to that goal?
When I go to record the video, that’s okay.
I love it hot off the presses here. before it goes to the public we got right. Yeah, that’s awesome. And I think one of the points of resistance I hear a lot from myself to when I’m stuck is like, well, I don’t, some part of me doesn’t even want to really connect with what I want. Because it feels like I can’t have it.
Right. Right. So that’s a thought. Right? So then it’s what’s a better thought? Instead of that? What thought? Would I rather have that one? Mm hmm. Because the thought that you’re currently having is what’s keeping you stuck?
Yeah, that’s so good. It’s so good. Yeah. Like, just remembering like, we Yeah, we have the power to, to think, and our thoughts are, are not just something that’s happening to us. We are the creators of the thought, right?
Someone posted this in my in my group, and it said, It started out by saying, life is happening to you. And they crossed out the two. Mm hmm. And wrote in the word for Mm hmm. So and it’s like, everything that’s happening in our life serves a purpose, there’s a lesson to be learned. And we all still have choices. We can’t control what’s happening to us. But we certainly can control how we react to it. Right?
Yeah, yeah. You know, it’s interesting, I find myself in discussions a lot about this, like, just does everything happened for a reason? And well, what possible reason for like a global pandemic or something like that, you know, and I think I, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not really that everything happens ahead of like, for a reason ahead of time. But it’s like everything that happens, we can create the reason for it, like we can create the story of it, we can create our reaction to it. Right? So we can, absolutely, we can draw from whatever is happening, we can draw the thought, let’s say that, like, this is happening to us, or why me or being punished or something? And maybe that’s something that like, if it’s if it’s just a rising, that’s something we can write down we can, you know, but we don’t have to allow our lives to be controlled by that. Exactly.
Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, just like we were saying, we can’t necessarily control you know, we had no control over the pandemic being here. Yeah. But we did have and do have control of how we’re reacting to it. And you know, what we’re doing about it. So,
I love that too. It’s like the focus. I think when I’m stuck. I’m like, my focus is so much on what’s out of my control.
Mm hmm. Yeah. And that’s, you know, that’s where most people start. It’s like, yeah, stuck. All I see is the stuck rains, right. Open up vision a little bit wider. It’s, let’s look at where I want to be instead.
Yeah, yeah. And even like, I love your than coming to some action steps, you know, just remembering. There are things in my control. And what if I focused on those things, no matter how small they are today, there, there’s something available. I have a choice. Right.
Right. Yeah. And then just always, before you leave that place, I think I got that from Tony Robbins. Before you leave the place. You’d make sure you take one action. Yes. towards where you want to go.
Yes. Good. Yeah, yeah, and I think one of the things I love about coaching it too is that it gives us an opportunity to dialogue about the thoughts in our heads and the stories that we tell and you know, there’s someone else to the sort of, lovingly disrupt that.
challenge those thoughts and and someone you know, as a coach where they’re in no judgment and just helping helping people see their blind spots. And we’re, you know, we’re usually not coaching our relatives, so we’re not really close to them so we can be unbiased. When we’re working with people. So yeah, that’s one of the values of having a coach for sure.
Yeah, that outside perspective. Like, I don’t have a personal stake in my clients choices. Right. So yeah, and really holding, I know, you do this too, but holding clients capable, yes, of running that just like you’re totally capable, and you know, what’s best for your life? But you may have lost track of it. Right, just like bringing you back home. I know you do that, too. So yeah, so good. Yeah, well, I wonder what your definition of success is.
You know, the first thought that came to mind when you said that was sufficiency. And what I mean by sufficiency, is being happy with who you are, where you are. So I often I say this quite, quite often that happiness is the ultimate goal. So to me success, is his being happy and having peace of mind. And I think I said at the beginning, you know, my greatest asset is my family. And so when my family is happy, and well provided for them, to me, that’s success. Knowing that I’ve made a difference in someone’s life, in a positive, you know, positive impact is success. So, and if you had asked me this probably 10 or 15 years ago, when I was younger, I would have had a different answer, but but you know, cuz back when you’re like, in your 20s, and 30s, it’s, it is about like, acquiring the wealth, and maybe the things. But now at this juncture in life, it’s it’s really, the peace of mind. As a family being secure. That’s Success to me. And like I said, Just knowing, knowing that I’ve made a difference. Yeah, yeah. tributed to society. Yeah. Beautiful. Hopefully, the world is a better place, because I’m in it.
As I see it, for sure. That’s wonderful. All right, I have two more questions for you. And then we’ll wrap up for now. Um, one is, if you could just say so for people who are listening will definitely be putting your information on a path of her own.com.
see, saying, oh, what’s your website? Or how do people know
My website is www.ey Bl coaching.com. So the nypl is embrace your beautiful life. But that was too much for people to have to type out. So
it’s aibl coaching.com. That’s, that’s my website. And I am also on Facebook. And LinkedIn. I think I’m on Instagram. Actually, I know I’m on Instagram. And I do have a YouTube channel as well. Wow.
Great, so you can find lots of Lisa everywhere. Yes. And what do you what are you reading right now?
Um, you know what, I just got it yesterday. Oh. So she got it is a fearless marketing Bible.
Yeah. I know, right? I’m really anxious to dig in to that one. I’m not only so there’s another one. Now I’m listening to this one guy. It’s, it’s I think it’s called dream bigger. It’s really good. And I think it’s mashanda of course when you’re trying to look it up. Yeah, dream bigger. And her What’s her last name? Can’t see without my glasses. Yeah, so I’m sorry, not dream bigger, it’s believe bigger. Discover the path to your life purpose. And her name is marshawn. Evans Daniels. So this one’s really good. Like, I think I’m almost finished with Well, I’ve got three hours left on that one.
Right. Wonderful. It was so wonderful. As always to be with you, Lisa. It’s fun to reconnect in this way.
Any, any last words of wisdom you want to share?
Well, I just want to say thank you so much for for having me as your guest on your podcast, definitely an honor. And I’m just going to leave the guests with. Don’t stay stuck. Don’t feel like you’re too old to start something new, because you never are. And do what you love. Love what you do, and be authentically you.
Thanks, Lisa. Beautiful. Thank
So I just wonder if there’s anything else like, you would have liked to talk a little bit more about or?
So, you know, because, literally, I was like, so engaged in the conversation. I’m not even sure what we covered and what we did. Anything else?
We talked about
journey into I can’t really think of
anything. I don’t know if
you have any thoughts.
I’m just making a couple notes about what we did talk about in cases. Like, like you, I think I also like if I write something, usually, like, get something in my head.
Yeah, I guess I just wonder, like, if there’s anything I love to hear, like a story, you know, from your life or like something. You know, I think people really connect to story, you know, so like, some moment, I mean, it like I loved your story about how you became a health coach. I mean, like, What a powerful?
it definitely one moment in your life. So I just wonder if there’s any other any others that come to mind or that you’d be willing to share? Like other really,
It doesn’t have to even be around coaching, but just like some, some, maybe it was some pivotal moment in your life or in your youth or
what else is there?
Like some obstacle you overcame?
Well, you know, the only story that I have is, remember when you were first coaching me, we first started out and I was doing all of my work around real estate, and real estate coaching. And because that was my comfort zone. Yep. And so I had my whole niche designed around Okay, um, Going to help real estate agents, jumpstart their business build their business, and I even took that position at my office. That’s right The as the productivity coach, working with the new agents, and helping them get their businesses started. And I did that for a year and a half. And the more that I did it, the more I realized, this isn’t really like I don’t want to just be showing agents how to write a contract, and then how to market for business, I really want to get into the mindset of creating a successful business. But I was afraid to let go of sure what I knew, you know, what I’ve known for so many years and venture into new
into new territories. But when I finally did I tell you that I tell you that I actually let that go
at the end of the year. But I stopped, yeah, I stopped. I told them in September, that the end of the year, and I’m going to stop the productivity coaching, I’m going to step down for it from it. And I’m going to pursue my own coaching business, which is, you know, working with, with women that are feeling stuck and bored and want to create something new, whether it’s a new job. So that was that was kind of scary. Because even though in the productivity coaching realm, it still wasn’t like a guaranteed income. But I did know that, you know, when an agent closed a deal that I would get a percentage of it. And because I had so many agents that I was coaching, the likelihood of me getting paid was was very high. So when I let that go, that meant a little bit of that certainty was, you know, was gone. And so now it’s all on me, and about me attracting my ideal clients and serving them. So that’s, that’s an obstacle or that’s a change or challenge. And then something else was just the whole mindset about because the way that the productivity coaching was set up was they were auto enrolled. So if they had done less than five transactions, they had to be in the program. And again, it was set up so that when they closed, I got a certain percentage. So it was a big, it was a shift to go to my own coaching business where one I’m attracting the clients, no one has to, no one has to pay. So it’s it’s their choice, it’s their decision. And it’s learning to to do the consultation and get to the part where it’s this is the investment and and making it either the payment plan or the paid in full. Yeah, and I even stopped offering the payment plan. I just said this is this is the investment. And then if you know if they couldn’t do the full investment, then I would do a payment plan. So that was another that was another kind of big. Yeah. And then going from before I was doing 90 day programs. And now I’ve switched to six months is not often so that was it’s so it’s just the the process. You know, I coach because I enjoy coaching. And yet it’s still a business. Yep. So it’s the business things.
totally solo. Okay, cool. We can I can explore that a little bit. Um, I’m wondering. Yeah, I just I guess maybe just my own curiosity is like how like How did you grow up? Like how do you know? Just like you mentioned something about your daughters, like you raised them to really know their own path? Like were you raised that way as well.
So yeah, yeah. So mom and dad. Yeah, I had, I had a wonderful, wonderful childhood. I will say my dad was my dad was strict. And my dad was, I guess you would say to most people, he had an intimidating personality. He was very candid, whatever came up came out. So and I’m just thinking, as I got older, you know, when you’re younger, you don’t, you’re just respectful. But as I got older, and you know, he would, he was very opinionated. That’s the word. So as I got older, I would challenge I would challenge that. And he was, he reminded me of the big teddy bear, you know, the big bear basically, he looked, you know, he was like, really gruff and tough on the on the outside teddy bear. It just, you know, had built up all the walls. So, and, but the one thing that I learned from my father that he always told me was
to, to follow your dreams. So of course, I get emotional when I talk about my dad. Ah, but what a gift
to have a dad like that.
Yeah, amazing. But I remember he was a, he worked for the government. And he was a photographer. But what he wanted to do, he was an artist. He was a very talented artist, and he wanted to go to art school. But he decided not to follow his dream and to instead go go into the government. But um, I have theirs. It’s actually hanging up in my living room. One of the paintings that he did for me so many Matter of fact, mom’s mom’s house looks like a, an art museum with all of his, his beautiful paintings over the walls. So amazing. Yeah.
So that’s, that’s
definitely a lesson from him. We grew up both my brother and I went to private school our entire lives. So that means meant we were a bit different from the other kids in the neighborhood. So it could we didn’t go to school with the kids in the neighborhood. My brother got to go to public school, when he got to high school. But then he didn’t do so well. So that meant I never got to go to public high school.
So I was in private school, he
entire done the whole 12 years. So, but set me up really, really well. A great foundation, especially high school. You know, when I got to college, it was first year was a breeze as I had been. That’s great. Yeah.
That’s it. That’s interesting. My, my dad’s an artist, too. And he, yeah, he’s very intimate. He’s very tall. And he’s where I get like, like, kind of have like, deep like, dark, deep set eyes. He Yeah. So he and he has very like. He’s like, like, the tall, dark and handsome guy. And he, similarly, you know, he, when he, in my mind, he and my mom were, were actually, they met in high school. They’ve been together a really long time. And he, when they had me, or before, they had me Actually, when she was starting her career, she was really clear. She wanted to get a PhD and be an education. And she’s, I mean, her career has been amazing. She’s top of her field and stuff. And she, and he really made the choice to support her 100% right. So he went to he went to mechanic school, dropped out of art school and became a mechanic for you know, just like, okay, that’s an easy source of income, right? Like, we’re gonna rely on that. And then they had started a family and you know, just like continued with, he continued with that. And so he was when he could be he He was the one who is home for me after school and that kind of thing. So, you know, he was he was just present in my life a lot. And then I think I was about 14, when he Well, first of all, we have this amazing opportunity through a scholarship that my mom was on to live in Kenya for a year. And so I went to this amazing International School and you know, I yeah, similarly sent me really well up for college. Later, I went back to Ohio public school, which was such a joke and get out of there as quickly as I could. But, um, but yeah, so that year, he really, he couldn’t work, he didn’t have a visa to work, he didn’t really need to. And so it was really an opportunity for him to rediscover what he wanted to do. And, and it was really cool, because it was really a pivotal time in my life, you know, coming into being a teenager and so, so it was sort of like, we were both like discovering who we were that year. You know, and so witnessing him just like switch gear, because I didn’t know I he never talked about his dreams. And my
dad didn’t either until until later on, I think it was. It was probably around the time when I was thinking of leaving corporate and going, you know, into real estate that he he told me, you know, you have the opportunity. dreams you don’t you know, you don’t want to have regrets.
Yeah. That’s cool.
And that’s what you love. Yeah. And, and so that is just the, the independence. I mean, me and my husband married were really young. We were highschool sweethearts. But we’ve been together for 40 years now, I think. And, and I was saying all that to say something. Oh, the independence. That’s what it was. So, you know, I remember dad saying to me, you know, yes, you’re getting married, but you’re still your own person. And, and I just, I don’t know that he said the words don’t ever depend on somebody else. But that’s kind of that’s the way that I interpreted that was, you know, make sure you can always take care of yourself. And so that’s definitely the way that I raised my girls. And, and I say, sometimes, you know, I did that to a fault, because my youngest one is so, so very independent. Like, he like I really, like if she ever asked for help. I know that like she definitely needs it. Because that’s, you know, show get down to her last dollar for show. ask anybody for anything, though. Yeah.
So yeah, yeah. How is that? So you’ve been married a long time? And you are? I imagine you and your husband are not the same people that meant
no, no, cuz you figure I was 16. And he was 17. Thank goodness. Yeah. Wow. No, we are we are not. And he is very traditional in the fact that, you know, he believes in the, the stable job, the nine to five and, you know, he, he worked with the gas company for 30 plus years, he retired two years ago. But, and, you know, that was a good thing, because that meant he had the, you know, he covered the benefits. And, you know, for health insurance, and that kind of thing. So nice. So it was good that he was the no person because I definitely was like the free spirit. That’s no, I don’t want to do this. So. Yeah. Yeah.
How? I wonder just as you reflect on your time over the years, how is it that you’re able to not only stay together, but like, honor each other’s growth and change over time?
So it’s, that’s, you know, that’s a great question. We’ve just accepted each other for who we are. And, you know, I think, yeah, way back when we were younger, and when we both growing up to do but it was always also the realization that I can’t change him. You know, he has to want to change for himself and you Same thing applies to me, you can’t change me. A big part, of course, and this is an in relationship is compromise. And I remember, you know, I was giving at my daughter’s wedding, the wedding speech part of that what I told her was, you know, these are the five C’s for marriage. And I think it was compromise. What was it compromise comedy?
but it was I remember that, but those were the things that definitely made our marriage or have made our marriage a success.
If I can find it,
if you can. I’m so curious. What are those five C’s?
What are those five C’s? It’s in here. Let’s see. It’s probably further down. Shouldn’t be this far. Oh, yeah. There it is. Oh, Brady. Oh, shucks. All that I said in here was Deanna Be sure to share the five C’s. So I wrote her a letter on her wedding day. And told her what they were sex. I wish I could remember. Now it was what was there? copper out. It was Christ. So keep keep God in your life. compromise.
Oh, communication. Definitely. That’s what they were huge. So it was Christ. Communication. compromise. comedy. And colitis.
What was the last one?
Oh, it is. What does sex life good sex? Oh. Yeah.
So yeah. So those? So I would say that’s, you know, that’s been, that’s definitely been the key. Beautiful. To to our marriage. Yeah. as well. Awesome.
Well, let’s see, let’s pause a moment, because I’d love to get a recording of that, like, with the where you, you know, the five C’s? Okay.
So, Kevin, I think we’ll, we’ll start the recording right here for the bonus. All right. And we’re back with life coach Lisa fry, for a little more insights. And I really got curious after we recorded last time about Lisa’s very long marriage, which is such a rare thing these days. And so I was asking her to share her secrets. So it’s a long relationship, because we know that we heard from Lisa, how many changes she made. And of course, we all do that, right? We grow and we change we want different things. So navigating that alongside someone else who’s growing and changing. It’s Yeah, it’s a rare thing to find two people really willing to create space for each other in that way. So and, and Lisa shared, there’s like five C’s
Yeah, so tell us tell us about that.
So the five seats. So first of all, this just to give a little background on it. This came about because I was writing the speech for my daughter’s wedding. And typically, you know, when your daughter gets married, it’s the father that does the wedding speech. But my husband is not the type that’s going to speak in front of a group. And so I had prepared the wedding speech figuring I would have to give it now, but I did mention to you blue was on the wedding day, when it was time for the speech, he actually had one. So he actually did make a speech for his daughter at her wedding, which was just amazing. But because I already had mine written, of course, I had to say my piece. So part of what I shared with my daughter there were the five C’s to a successful marriage. And and I actually had written my daughter a letter that she read, you know, the morning of her wedding, and so the five C’s were Christ, so always keep God first in your life. Or you know, whatever your spiritual belief is, but for for my family, it’s got so the first C was Christ. The next C was compromised because In any successful relationship, there’s given take. So the second C was compromise. The third C was comedy, you know, keep each other laughing, have a sense of humor. The fourth C was communication. Don’t, don’t keep things inside of you let it out, make sure that you talk to each other. And I did specify that talk to each other, don’t go outside and talk to other people, especially your non married friends. So it’s you know, if you’re going to communicate, communicate, if you’re going to seek advice outside, talk to people that are in successful marriages. So communication was the fourth C. And then the fifth C was colitis. And colitis is a good healthy sex relationship. So, and I was looking for, I actually had to Google it. Like, what’s another word that starts with C because I knew five C’s.
So that’s how I
found that word. So those are the five Christ compromise, comedy, communication, and COVID. This
beautiful, yeah, Good stuff, good stuff. And just talking about family and relationships, we also were talking about our amazing dads, the men in our lives. So yeah. The first the first men in our lives,
right. The first the first men that were Yeah,
yeah. So how, how would tell us a little bit about how was your dad and and what did you was like a big life lesson you
learned though? Yeah, Mom and Dad, both both very wonderful people my dad has, has since passed. One of the main lessons I’ve learned from my dad, though, was to pursue your dreams to go after you know what it is that you’re truly passionate about. My dad was an amazing artist. But he didn’t, what he wanted to do was to go to art school and to pursue a career in art. But he didn’t do that. And, and he told me, you know, later on, and I think it was when I was getting ready to make the transition from corporate to entrepreneurship. He, he was the one that encouraged me to do that to pursue what I really wanted to do. And that’s when he shared his story with me. Because he decided to do I guess what he considered the responsible thing, which was to get a good government job and, and go that avenue. The good thing for him though, was he did still paint on the side as a hobby. And and I always, you know, mom’s house is full of beautiful artwork, it looks like an art gallery. And I am fortunate enough. Yeah, I’m fortunate enough to have it was his favorite painting, my favorite painting that he had done. So there’s one hanging in mom’s house. And I asked him to paint one for me. So I’ve got, I’ve got them hanging in my living room. So yeah, so always appreciate your genes. And the other lesson was, and this probably came from both of them was to be independent, always be able to take care of yourself.
yeah. Oh, that’s great. Yeah. And it’s so funny, because I was sharing with Lisa, that my dad is also an artist. And similarly, when I was younger, he didn’t, you know, he chose the job that would have the reliable income for the family. And then, when I was a teenager, and my mom’s career really got off the ground, and he had the space to pursue his dreams. It was really cool. Like, I feel like I I don’t know that he ever said, Follow your dreams to me. Exactly. But I witnessed him doing that, which really inspired me.
Yeah. Yeah. So, so good, right to have amazing role models. It is. Yes,
yeah. And I think as a, as a mom, it really has freed me from feeling like I’m, you know, my kids are still pretty young. And how do you know? Well, they were definitely young when I took the leap into my own business. So just knowing that, like, Oh, no, this is actually really good for them like this in some way. But yeah,
they could say mom, mom, didn’t you know, she, she pursued her dreams. You know, she’s going after what she wants, which means I can do the same thing.
So yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Lisa. such a joy to connect with you. And thank you. And one more time, let’s share your website
if you would like that site is www.ie. Why bL coaching.com
beautiful and Lisa is all over social media. So we’ll have those links for you at a path of her own calm as well. Thanks for being with us and hope to connect with you again soon, Lisa. Okay, great.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai